November 23rd has been designated as Polyamory Day to mark the anniversary of a court ruling in British Columbia establishing that Canada’s anti-polygamy laws do not apply to those in unformalized polyamorous relationships. Basically, it made clear that polyamorous households are legal in Canada. It was a significant advancement for the polyamorous community even for those of us who are not Canadian.
Side note: What is the difference between polyamory and polygamy? The concept of polygamy applies only to marriages and comes with a history of negative connotations for many. Polygamy as historically practiced typically involved the sort of uneven harem nonsense I’ve ranted against before: one man and however many wives he wants, none of whom are allowed to be intimate with other people. As established previously, this is not healthy polyamory.
In my fantasy world, Faereen, polyamory is the social norm. Because why not write a world that’s closer to what I want mine to be? Monogamous people do exist, but although society has progressed past the point of labeling the desire for monogamy as a mental illness, less educated strangers will frequently make negative assumptions about those desiring “couple-obsession.” It is the monogamous who need to mention, “I’m this and it isn’t negotiable,” on their dating profiles. There is a general attitude of, “You do you; just don’t try to involve me in your weirdness.”
The concept of marriage exists on Faereen, and since it is approached from an angle where it’s normal to have multiple partners, it doesn’t involve a limited number of spouses. People enter devotions with two to however many people who consent to it. The catch is that all of these people need to agree to all of the others being in the devotion and having associated powers over them even if they don’t all have sexual relationships with each other. Most devotions have four or fewer members, but one of my characters is a devotion of six. Much more than that, and you risk someone basing a comedy on you. (See the tangent this sent my mind on below)
It’s also possible to have legally recognized partners outside of a devotion. This would be people with some of the rights we think of spouses having, but not all of them. They would be allowed into their partner’s hospital room even while visitation is limited to family, but wouldn’t be allowed to determine if it’s time to remove the spells keeping their partner alive. (Yes, spells. Fantasy, remember?) They don’t automatically share property with each other, so terminating the contract is less of a bother than dividing assets in a divorce. These partners may be lovers, but it is also common for close friends or siblings to legally link themselves.
There is a growing sentiment that people should only have one or the other type of legal recognition due to the imbalance between devotion-mates and recognized-partners, but it remains popular to enter into both simultaneously.
New World Building (presented by Andy’s ADHD)
The classic sitcom Cheaper by the Dozen focused on a family of twelve spouses rather than a family with twelve kids like the similarly named intellectual property on Earth. It peaked in Season Three, which featured a season arc about trying to decide on a replacement couch. The arc culminated in a two-part episode of a capture-the-flag game with the winning team being allowed to purchase the furniture they’d picked out. The winners wound up deciding to screw the budget and get FOUR new couches in order to let every group get their pick. The hideously mismatched furnishings overcrowding the family’s sitting room are considered amongst the sweetest visuals in modern pop culture.