Me: Happy New Year!

Snow Kiss: Whatever. Are you happy with me yet? Because I’d really appreciate being published.

Me: Sorry, no. But I AM closer! I’m about to hand you over to someone with instructions to focus on things to cut.

Snow Kiss: Cut? Why? I’m down to 112,000 words. Why are you so obsessed with making me skinnier?

Me: I’m just wanting to make sure other people love you as much as I do. I’ve slated you for publication in June.

Snow Kiss: (stares)

Me: Yes, yes, books with high word counts are lovable. Ugh… I’m sorry, Snow Kiss. This is about my insecurities, not you.

Snow Kiss: So we’re skipping this step?

Me: (winces) No…

Snow Kiss: (storms off)

Shadow Kiss: Heh… Okay… Um… You have my file open?

Me: I do! I’m working on integrating elements that are strong in Act 3 earlier in the book.

Shadow Kiss: You don’t think I’m too long, then?

Me: (winces) I’m not worrying about your length at this juncture.

Shadow Kiss: Wow. Happy New Year, Andy. (Follows Snow Kiss)

Me: So, Goal Tracker…

Goal Tracker: Don’t drag me into this. I’m just a spreadsheet.